i have changed my blog address. if you really want to know. please come to me and ask=)
Posted in my life | Tagged ask for it and it will be given to you |
in life, there are alot of things that are left unsaid
i didn’t even have the chance to say out how i really feel inside of me. sometimes i wonder, if i am living for myself or i am living for others. why do i always feel that i am living for people. whatever i do, i have to think about how the people around me feel but they don’t even understand what and how i am going through.
can i have a rest? i doubt so.
sometimes, i really think i’ve tried so hard but i think its really different to go through it. feelings are really hard to express. if i have a chance, i hope that there is an angel beside me, digging out my heart to show the world what i am going through.
frankly speaking, i am still very sad. every night before i sleep, i will start to think alot of things. even if i don’t think, things and pictures will start to fill my mind. i am so helpless. when i am really tired, dreams just fill up my mind. nightmares will start to fill in. am i just alone?
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Frustrated is the word to describe how i really felt yesterday.
Hurt was the word that filled my heart yesterday.
i am already feeling so sad and hurt inside and yet you dig it even further. in my dreams, i would have never thought it was you. you are the person i respect most, i love most and the one whom i thought i could count on but you always disappoint me when i am at my wits end.
i thought everything would be different but its not. yesterday you said alot of words that hurt me. alot of unreasonable requests. let me shout it out loud, you were one of the main reason i made the biggest mistake in my life.
YOU refers to my mother
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Happy birthday my dear girl=)
Time really flies huh.
I could still remember yesterday was just like when we are 17years old joining poly. I really hope that this birthday was a bash for you. I am really happy that your dear is treating you real well.
Sad verses hurt is one thing. I am still crying. I am still feeling really sad inside. No one seems to understand how I feel except you because you are going through the same thing as me. We are constantly looking back at our memories and tears just can’t stop flowing down. Looking back at those pictures really bring me back happy memories. Sad ones as well. Words can’t explain everything but a picture says a thousand words.
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愛情是一種怪事
我開始全身不受控制
愛情是一種本事
我開始連自己都不是
為你我做了太多的傻事
第一件就是為你寫詩
為你寫詩 為你靜止
為你做不可能的事
為你我學會彈琴寫詞
為你失去理智
為你寫詩 為你靜止
為你做不可能的事
為你彈奏所有情歌的句子
我忘了說 最美的是你的名字
愛情是一種怪事
你的笑容是唯一宗旨
愛情是一種本事
我在你心裡什麼位子
為你我做了太多的傻事
第一件就是為你寫詩
為你寫詩 為你靜止
為你做不可能的事
為你我學會彈琴寫詞
為你失去理智
為你寫詩 為你靜止
為你做不可能的事
為你彈奏所有情歌的句子
我忘了說 最美的是你的名字
為你寫詩 為你靜止
為你做不可能的事
為你 我學會彈琴寫詞
為你失去理智
為你寫詩 為你靜止
為你做不可能的事
為你彈奏所有情歌的句子
我忘了說 最美的是你的名字
我什都能忘記 但唯一不忘是你的名字
我什都能忘記 但唯一不忘是你的樣子
我什都能忘記 但唯一不忘是你的名字
我什都能忘記 但唯一不忘是你的樣子
Another day has gone by.
Everything seems like it just happened yesterday.
When you look into my eyes and walking me home, you asked me if I could be you’re the other half and I could still remember vividly that I said I would consider just because inside of me I didn’t want to be the kind of girl who anyhow agree to any request of a guy.
From the beginning, I was just another simple girl who fell in love with you.
Every day of my life when I was with you
I felt that you are the one
You are the one that made me fell in love with you so deeply and yet you are also the one who hurt me deeply in the past.
Bygones are always bygones.
I always forgive you because you meant the world to me.
Day after day, I hold everything inside of me, thinking that I could be strong but I was wrong.
As years go passed, friction came along.
When inside of me no longer could take it anymore,
I fell into temptation.
Not into just any temptation but a cruel temptation because I wanted someone to be there for me when I am down and someone to understand me but this was the first ever wrong step I took.
I destroyed an almost six year’s relationship in my own hands.
Whatever is done is done.
Will we get back together one day?
It all depends on FATE.
It all depends whether God really wants us to be together again.
This incident taught both of us a lesson and that is to treasure the person you love and not take him/her for granted.
I always wonder whether things could be the same again.
A lot of people told me it can’t be the same again because when a glass is broken, no matter how you mend it, it will still have cracks, in your heart; there would be still the scars of what I have let you down.
I always gave myself excuses that in the past, I was the one who got so hurt and that’s the reason why I became like that and why our relationship end up to be like this.
I have only myself to blame.
I really hate myself
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If I could have just one wish,
I would wish to wake up everyday
to the sound of your breath on my neck,
the warmth of your lips on my cheek,
the touch of your fingers on my skin,
and the feel of your heart beating with mine…
Knowing that I could never find that feeling
with anyone other than you.
The most horrible day of my life could be today. I didn’t know how hurt could be written so deep inside my heart. I guess it really takes a lot of courage to say the word goodbye. I didn’t want to say goodbye either. I know how much effort and one million unwanted ‘don’t wants’ for him to say goodbye to me. It’s really a long relationship. A relationship probably I wouldn’t be able to forget for the rest of my life.
I guess its retribution. I do not have the courage to say goodbye because I don’t want to end this relationship so fast. In the past, no matter how sad and hurt I am, I will hold on. I will always tell myself, it’s LOVE that put us thus far but I am wrong. It’s the ever first BIG wrong step I have ever taken. If I had the courage in the past to tell him to break, probably he would have learnt how to treasure me even more and things wouldn’t be so complicated. It’s entirely my fault. I guess, when you come to this stage, you have to face facts.
Tonight, I really cried a lot. This is probably one of the nights that I cried so much. My eyes felt so pain my heart was even more pain. I can still remember he looked at me saying that he wants me to be happy. I was bleeding inside terribly. Is leaving me really the choice to make me feel happier? Is this the way I could actually feel how I want to feel? I really don’t know but all I want is for him to be happy. He is also suffering. He is hurting terribly too. When I see the tears flowing down from his eyes, my heart really bled. When he told me that he wants me to be happy, I was really touched.
Words could never be able to describe my feelings now. I am really sad. What have I done to deserve to go through all these? I have been asking God again and again to give me an answer, why hasn’t HE? Is this all a test? I really don’t know.
Michelle said that probably going separate ways will help. Will it? Will our journey just end like that? Frankly speaking, I really don’t want it to end like that. I don’t know what is the knot that is pulling me back.
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My call was really bad today. I was totally zonked out. Can you believe working for 24hours non-stop? You can’t right? i was really tired but i got no choice.
The stupid emergency cases kept coming in. my gang of on call people were like going crazy and mad. normally, even when we are working oncall, we still get to bathe and we still get to rest in between but this time round, we didn’t even have the time to take teabreaks. we only had one 5mins break and thats it. we were perpectually going crazy.
the moment i got home, i bathe and slept throughout. i was really tired. i couldn’t imagine how i survived it. Gerly, one of my colleage, told me that no matter how difficult this call was, we would survive it but i really thank God that i survive it because on in the early afternoon, i was already zonked out.
can you imagine how time have passed? it has been a few weeks already. i am beginning to wonder whether some things i did was right. i feel really vexed. is time running out for me or am i just drowning myself with my work. i have no energy to go out nor i even gave myself space. looking back really brings me back alot of memories. was i really wrong? did i made a wrong step by doing those things that i shouldn’t? i can’t fathom the future right now.
i bloody must lose weight but i just don’t have the time to exercise. i realised that i am starting to have double chins. *STOP LAUGHING*
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how i wished my life is like this hot air balloon. you can sought so high and see the world. work was really horrible for the past few weeks. i have been really busy. recently, i met up with my dearest michelle last monday. i miss her so much. at least we did have a short heart to heart talk=) girls’ talk.
i think i seriously grew fatter because recently i really ate alot.
i still have many photos yet to be uploaded. i didn’t really have the time and the energy. all the extra time i have left was to make use of it to sleep. i really love sleeping now because i am deeply deprived of it. even right now, i am squeezing time to blog. i am waiting to bathe so i just thought of pening my thoughts and feelings down here.
i am going to bathe already=) i will continue with the pictures when i am free=)
tomorrow i will be oncall=( 24hours again=(
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ling's life 
